Random thoughts

finally decision has been made and for now I have to prepare myself for this coming battle. haha. Really pretty hard to come to a decision. Thoughts that were always having opposition against one another, thoughts that were hard to compromise one another. Nothing is perfect, everything has it's pros and cons. Want to have a perfect decision? I suppose there isn't one. Nevertheless, a decision has been made - there was really a need to do so since the deadline has approached. For the time being, everything has ended till the start of the battle.

Recently have some thoughts of myself. Am i doing well as a friend? Actually this question has been with me for quite a long time. I always think that I am not good in maintaining friends relationship due to past experiences. Thinking back, i have realised that i didn't really have so call good friends. Perhaps used to have, but as time passes, good friends have turn into normal friends. Perhaps time is not the factor, the problem lies on me for not trying to maintain that relationship. During primary and secondary lifes, there was this "don't friend you game". I believe most of you have "played" this kind of game. I don't know why I was always been dislike by others. I was always the one not to be friend with. Once one friend ignored me, I will be ignored by others as well. Those periods were my hard times in school. I was glad that I was able to escape this "hardship" once the school ended everyday because i felt a sense of belonging once i was home. That's why I love my family and home so much. Halfway through the secondary life till now, I am glad i did not face those hard times again. I suppose there are no more childish people to play those kind of "don't friend you then friend you again game". Anyway, I just wanna to say whether i am doing well as a friend. Recently, I have done something that might lost my trustworthiness on someone. Perhaps, it's better for me not to know anything.